That's Not Great!

My two year old's favorite line "Well,mom, that's not great!" No kidding buddy. Right now that is exactly how I feel. My sister-in-law called a few days ago with the news that my father-in-law has been given a time frame on his life. His oncologist says that his cancer has metastasized in the vertebrae in his back and his body is no longer responding to chemotherapy and she predicts he has three months.

"That's not great!" Not for him, his children and grandchildren, or his beautiful wife. The woman that raised six children, and numerous grandchildren, while married to an alcoholic husband. He has been in recovery for many years but there were some really tough times. She said to me "You just have to decide if living with them is better than living without them" Bravely my father-in-law fought off an addiction and even braver still my mother-in-law loved him through it.

She looked forward to the time he would retire and they would travel together. Nothing exotic, Kansas, Texas, visiting friends and relatives. They have spent their retirement going back and forth to the doctor. For the last ten years they have been dealing with his cancer and now she gets to watch him disappear completely.

I am sure this is not what she had in mind when she was living through the crappy parts. We do that don't we? Promise ourselves little treats if we just make it through this then things will get better...we fill our hearts and heads with someday. I wonder if she's thinking this is it??? My big reward??? It breaks my heart.

You know what is more heartbreaking? The fact that we are all doing it. We are waiting our relationships out. Waiting for kids, then waiting for the kids to grow up, waiting for our finances to get on solid ground, waiting for the stress to ease up then we will spend time on our marriage. Then we will have time together and we'll make an extra effort. With the exception of our relationship with Jesus Christ our marriage should be the most important thing in our lives.

This person God has given you to love and cherish should be your number one priority. How're ya doin'? When we get to the place where my in-laws are will we be wondering if this is it? We have choices now today but it won't be like that forever.

Send your kids to the sitter, rent a copy of "Fireproof", open a bottle of wine, and sit with the love of your life, holding hands for an hour or so,and remembering why you love each other. You won't have that chance forever. If you don't believe me ask my mother-in-law! I believe that she will tell you that living with them is DEFINITELY better than living without them!