"Daddy's Girl"

You know I have never really been the stereotype of a "Daddy's Girl". I don't have a new convertible or a poodle in my poodle purse. My dad isn't your typical "I'd do anything for my little princess" kind of guy. My three sisters and I were the only sons my dad ever had. He taught us how to ride horses, castrate calves, sheep, hogs and dogs, and load, and stack hay. While other girls were having mudpacks and facials we were covered in blood, poop, and infection from lump jaws. When we had some situation we couldn't fix and would ask dad for help his pat answer was " Well, what the hell do you want me to do about it!?" Those were his love words, secret code for "Honey, I love you so much and I know that I can't fix this I wish I could save you from this trouble and pain. I'm so sorry."

Like I said my dad taught me to ride horses. My sister had a mare that was particularly unruly. She had a special love name-Hell B----! One day I thought I'd just take a nice afternoon ride. Fancy wasn't always cantankerous, sometimes she could be quite sweet. I saddled her up and as I was trying to get on she decided to do the Mexican Hat dance....in front of my father. Big mistake...for both of us! Dad grabbed the reins, said a few choice words and walloped her in the belly a few times. Then when she decided to stand still he says to me "GET ON!" Now you should know I am not passionate about being a horsewoman, I just enjoy a pleasant ride on a gentle horse occasionally, so of course as the Hell B---- was by now quite wound up.. I was terrified. I looked at the horse and then at my dad and I thought either way I go here I am going to DIE! I chose to get on the horse! Obviously I did not die but the ride was much less pleasant than I planned.

Although my dad didn't know it, he taught me a life lesson that day. Sometimes you have to get on and ride even if you are scared as hell, and if you get throwed off you get up dust, yourself off and try again. This advice has served me well as I have been married almost twenty years and am raising three magnificent boys. There are some days I am scared as hell but I get on with it anyway and I can't begin to tell you how many times I have been throwed!

Now my daddy has cancer and he is going to have to decide to stick or run. He is quite literally in a fight for his life. He is the toughest man I have ever known and I have never seen him as terrified as he is right now. It is my job to remind him what he taught me..that sometimes you have to get on and ride even if your scared as hell. However, what I really want to say is "Well, what the hell do you want me to do about it!?" Which translated means "Daddy, I love you so much and I know that I can't fix this. I wish I could save you from all this trouble and pain. I am so sorry"